Another year has ended and a new one begins…  

As the light subtly begins it’s return, I find myself going even more deeply in, wishing almost that winter was just at it’s brink.  I finally feel like all is wrapped up, feasts and festivities, harvests and projects and all that completes an abundant year, filling me with such a deep gratitude I have hardly yet expressed.

So much awaits, so much to be excited about, so many directions to choose from for my busy hands and mind…but I hesitate looking around at the possible roads I could go down and knowing now, there is really only one place to go… and that place is in.

My second child is due in the end of February and though the new year calls out with possibility of new seeds to plant, new challenges, new opportunities and resolutions to take on, I know deeply that my real work is just to be better at what I am already, a present and patient mother.  Yes I will garden and make things and buzz around like a little bee, but I really wanted another baby and if having another is anything like the first,  I am in for a whole new birth of myself.

Maybe not as a mother, as that I am becoming more and more each day, I really don’t know what this birth will bring besides a baby, but I do know I can’t know and preparing for the not knowing is the work I must do right now.  How does one then prepare for the mysteries life will bring, how do we surrender to the deep unknown.  Our culture loves our resolutions and our intentions, leading us to believe that we are the masters of our own destiny…and maybe we are or at least the masters of our own minds…but how do we prepare for what we do not know, what we cannot see, contrive or control?

Well, I guess it is mostly becoming more and more present in each moment, especially those testy ones where things don’t go our way or as we had envisioned or planned.  Arrive to what is with a clear mind and open heart may be the best preparation one can do to birth, be birthed and really to live happily with what is.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a planner, even a manifester and woman of great will and vision, but right now most of that work is done…the seeds have been planted, the arrows aimed.  Now the softer, gentler, more accepting me must arrive and unpack, settle in and get comfy, because there is very little I can do besides be open and patient while waiting for baby, savoring every sweetness before thing change.

So here we sit, settling into a stillness yet trying to keep a good tempo, as we don’t want to get too still that a birth will rudely awaken us.  So awake and ready, open and calm, patent and accepting… lots of little mantras to hum along while this third trimester ripens my belly and my family into the best state of preparedness one can hope for as our new year blooms us along.

The cutest carolers you ever did see

With all the darkness around us, our inner light shines ever brighter ever stronger.

Gathering us together around the home fires.

Going inward, unraveling old thoughts and re-routing

Letting the eastern dawn guide our way

Sharing our inner glow with our dearest

New paths unfold before us

New blooms unfurl

So we savor, we rest and we dream ahead.

Happy New Year, may you rest well and emerge in your own perfect way as the days grow before us.

It is migration season, the birds are heading south, seeking warmer weather to regroup, gather and connect…if you know what I mean.  Though I am not leaving town, I am doing the same, some sort of internal migration inwards.  The tomatoes are canned, the seeds saved and now I can look beyond what is right on front of me, screaming for my attention.   I see the more quiet, still sides of myself that haven’t gotten as much attention lately, my inner thoughts and processes.   My bird friends are here to remind me; rise high, seek the big picture and always keep moving.  Just this weekend I saw a beautiful golden eagle on a cross, a Western screech-owl on my lane as the full moon rose and a huge flock of Sandhill cranes heading south, dancing together in the sky above Ojo Caliente.  The birds always lift up my vision, help raise my focus and remind me, to not lose sight of myself in the busy mix of life.

Golden Eagle on a cross overlooking Chimayo, NM

As I do this settling in, there is a simultaneous kind of taking flight.  In this quiet, I have chosen to write more, in fact this post will be #100 on my blog since it’s inception 2 years ago.  It has been a humble effort, sporadic and random at times, but really a great creative outlet as a stay at home mom, gardener, maker and thinker.  I have reached a few folks and even gained a fan or two and just last week this little blog of mine got ‘picked up’.   Have you heard of Peggy O’Mara, she was the editor and publisher of Mothering Magazine based right here in little Santa Fe for 21 years!!  The very month I got pregnant Mothering published their last issue and went online to Mothering.com which Peggy founded.  Luckily and friend gave me her stack of well-loved issues and I devoured them throughout my pregnancy.  I still have them and hope I will read again sometime during my mothering journey. Recently Peggy started her own site called Peggy O’Mara.com which is a beautifully curated collection Family, Health and Justice articles from writers all over the country.  Recently a friend (thanks Kathleen) connected us and Peggy asked me to write for her sight!  It is a humble little step, but exciting to be connecting with a wider web of community.  Check out her site, it is well worth the trip, and Thanks Peggy!!

Sandhill Cranes

So happy 100 posts to Seeds and Stones and a heartfelt thank you to all of you who have read my words and supported me along the way.  Now that I have a moment to pause, where or where to begin with my huge pile of ideas?  Who knows, but so glad to have your company along the way.